The weekends always seem to fly by! I’ve had a lot on my mind today, almost too much to try and fit into a single post. Here goes nothing!
I hung out with a former co-worker of mine yesterday morning. It was a pretty impromptu decision, but one I am SO glad I made. She is a bit older than me (okay, try 15 years!) and I really look up to her in many ways. Most importantly, though, is that she is very assertive and always stands up for herself. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with standing up for myself at work lately, and my conversations with her have inspired me to slowly but surely start speaking my mind more. I’ve put up with a lot of rudeness and disrespectful actions from my co-workers (not all of them, but a handful) this summer and I’m sick of just taking it. I want to start to express my feelings in a polite but honest manner.
The other main thing on my mind is that I’m not “getting enough” out of summer. What I’m referring to in that statement is basically the feeling that if I’m not doing cool/fun/new stuff during my free time, I’m somehow “wasting” my summer. Deep down, I know that’s absolutely ridiculous. Even if I didn’t get to go anywhere or have any new experiences, I would still be having a great summer hanging out with the people who are important to me. I think social media probably plays a huge role in my (and others’) feeling that I need to DO as much as possible. I’ve had fun “doing” things this summer- going to the beach, playing mini-golf, getting drinks with friends, seeing movies, etc. but I’ve also had plenty of fun curled up on the couch with Doug watching Kitchen Nightmares, baking something new in my kitchen, sleeping late, and going for walks in my city.
I guess what I need is a balance between going out and trying new things (even if sometimes I don’t want to- usually when I push myself, I have no regrets) and staying in and doing the same things I always do that I really love. For example, today was a typical Sunday for us- sleeping in, grocery shopping, getting lunch at a local place, cleaning, and doing laundry. We’re about to have dinner and watch a movie, which is also pretty typical. Even though I’m using the word “typical,” there is nothing I dislike about our Sundays. They are comforting and relaxing for me- so why do I feel the need to significantly alter these days? Or that these days aren’t good enough? I’m sure I will continue to grapple with these feelings as I get older, and while this is certainly not the worst problem to have– nor is it really a problem, by any means– it’s definitely kind of tough to resolve. To find that balance. To remember that life is short, and to use my time in ways that are meaningful to me — even if they aren’t the rest of the world’s idea of a good time or the “perfect” summer.
So that’s what’s on my mind during this beautiful August evening. I hope you all had a good weekend, and are able to give yourself the time & space to reflect upon whatever it is that’s kicking around in your mind. 😉