Life lately

It seems like when life is going well/things are going smoothly, I post on here a lot less. I feel like I don’t have much to write about at the moment — in reality, nothing could be further from the truth…but I’m just struggling to find the time to sit down and write quality posts on some fairly in-depth and detailed topics.

So what’s been keeping me so busy?
-Finishing my last semester with a full course load. I’ll begin student teaching in the fall (for an entire year!) and only have one course left to take during that time.
-Exercising. A lot more. I’m finally starting to run again, and making slow but steady progress in that area. I’ve also begun regular strength training – as with most things I get excited about, I’ve been overdoing it a bit and had to take today off to give my body a break. But that’s okay.
-Trying to be more mindful about what I’m eating. While I want to make ED recovery my top priority, I do want/need(?) to lose some weight for health reasons. I feel much more at peace with my body now than I have at any point in the past four years or so. But my doctor would like me to lose a little weight. I’m not so focused on what the scale says…but I want to feel fit/strong/healthy/badass again. I don’t care if I never get down to my lowest weight. I just want to be physically active consistently, because almost nothing makes me feel as good as regular exercise does. I could definitely make a very long post (or series of post) on the challenges of losing weight with a history of disordered eating. So to be continued for this one, I guess.
-Summer job search. While I won’t be broken-hearted if I stay in my current job for the summer, if possible, I would like to make more money and do something different the summer before my internship. I’m currently looking for a full-time nannying position and have a few leads so far. I feel kind of guilty about the possibility of leaving my current program…but ultimately I need to do what’s best for me, my finances, and my future.
-Taking care of myself. Getting enough sleep, taking time to relax, taking time to appreciate the small stuff. Not putting as much pressure on myself to achieve some ridiculous idea of perfection (which doesn’t even exist). My sinus infection seems like it may have returned, so making my own health & stress management a priority is all the more important.

Expect more regular posting sometime in mid-May, but for now I’m guessing my posts will continue to be few and far between! 😛

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Some Monday thoughts

  • I need to start doing something creative again- whether that’s writing fiction, painting, drawing, or making music. Even just once a week.
  • My most recent ex (I mean, like my ex from five years ago) is engaged. I remember when he called me right after I got engaged. Seems like forever ago.
  • I have a nasty cold on the first Monday in the past three weeks that is NOT a snow day. Since my Monday classes haven’t met for the past two weeks, I feel absolutely obligated to go. But yuck. I should take some Dayquil.
  • It hit me this morning that this is my last semester (for a while, anyway,,#PhDsomeday) with a full course load. I’m going to be student teaching for a year starting in September, and while doing that, I’ll take my last class and do some kind of research for credit.
  • I have a lot of relationship stuff on my mind- family and friends. It’s not all very positive. I’m not sure what to do with all of these feelings. I should probably write about them some more, sometime. But all at once, I’m worried, sad, and feeling kind of neglected.
  • If we get significant snow accumulation tonight/tomorrow, I’m just going to hop on a plane and head down south. For real.
  • I should take a nap. I have plenty of time. But that never goes well for me … a 30 minute nap always turns into a 2 hour nap. Instead I’ll probably go to the gym.
  • I’ve been keeping a food/health journal of sorts for the past two weeks, and it’s really working well for me. I’ll maybe do a more in-depth post about it sometime.

That’s about it. Really feeling that nap right now.

Live blogging from winter storm Juno

This is the most snow I’ve ever seen, and I’ve lived in the northeast my entire life! I’m not entirely sure how many inches we got in my town, but if I had to guess I’d say somewhere between 22-25″. No school and no work today, and not going into work tomorrow until 11:00 (very grateful for that). I spent today doing homework, cooking (I made soup and no bake cookies), cleaning, watching Netflix, and just relaxing. I guess that’s pretty much all I have to say for right now. Also, my first semester of grad school is off to a great start. I love all of my professors so far, and the workload is…underwhelming, to be honest. Maybe it’s just because I’m not interning in a classroom right now.

Last week, I had to attend two orientation breakfasts at the schools I may be interning at in the fall. I’ve already scheduled several observation visits with teachers I am potentially interested in working with. It’s kind of a stressful process, but also a really exciting one. I observed a fourth grade teacher yesterday, and although I hope to end up in a kindergarten or first grade placement, I’m going to visit her classroom again. On Thursday, I’m observing a kindergarten teacher and then another fourth grade teacher.

So all in all life is pretty good right now. We helped one of our best friends buy a car over the weekend, which felt very satisfying (even though we weren’t the ones with a shiny new car). I’ve been much more committed to exercising and my body is very happy about that…although today, my exercise consisted of snow shoveling for an hour. If all goes according to plan, I’ll be attending my first Zumba class in a very long time this weekend. 🙂

If you are/were in the path of winter storm Juno, I hope you and yours are safe and warm!

S

I want to update, but I’m tired.

So bullets it is.

  • I went from last Monday (10/20) to today (10/27) WITHOUT ANY HEADACHES. I did get a headache this afternoon, and it got pretty bad at one point, but it’s mostly gone now. I’m pretty convinced it was due to rushing around and a stressful afternoon at work. Now I’m at home relaxed and feeling better.
  • I got an A on my first major assignment in my class with the really tough professor. She also asked if she could have a digital copy of my work to use as an example for next semester’s classes. This actually made my entire week.
  • I defrosted the cinnamon loaf that’d been in the freezer for a YEAR and it is still perfect and delicious and amazing. Next up, I will be defrosting (some) of our wedding cake. Eating dessert and cleaning out the freezer = major win.
  • Tomorrow I only have one class, and then I have to attend this symposium (taking the place of my second class). Third class is canceled all week!
  • THURSDAY I have an entire day off. I’m getting my hair cut (er, trimmed) and eyebrows done in the morning. I also need to register to vote.
  • It’s almost Halloween.
  • I regained some of the motivation re: school that I lost in the midst of dealing with almost daily headaches.
  • I have physical therapy twice this week, which makes me so happy. Part of my sessions usually involve a mini-massage of sorts, and it’s wonderful.

So yeah. I’m happy.

Thursday things

  • It’s amazing how much I can get done when I actually remove the distractions (TV, YouTube, my phone, etc.)
  • Currently in class watching a documentary about inclusion that was actually filmed a few towns over. [And people in my class are laughing hysterically and acting like the girl in the video is some kind of monster. It bugs me that, in a room full of aspiring teachers, the stigma surrounding mental illness is alive and well. A lot of the things the girl in the documentary struggles with, I struggled with in middle school. Self-harm, self-destructive thoughts, anger, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem…among others. If things had gone differently in my life, in high school, I could’ve easily been in the situation she was in. Why can we watch a documentary about a little boy with cerebral palsy with tears in our eyes, and five minutes later, watch a documentary about a teenage girl with ADHD, depression, and emotional problems while muffling our laughter and rolling our eyes in disgust? I wouldn’t want anyone who passes that kind of judgment on human beings teaching my children…or teaching alongside me. My professor is actually contributing to the ridiculous laughter in the class by making comments like, “Would you want to be on the bus with her?”]
  • I saw one of my best friends today. It was wonderful and perfect. I miss her a lot- she doesn’t live that far away (~4 hours), but it’s far enough so that we don’t see each other as much as I’d like.
  • I am really considering law school in the (distant) future. I want to just start off teaching in a classroom and see where I want to go from there. I am so passionate about school law, though, particularly in the area of bullying and cyber-bullying. I think it’s because I was bullied badly in middle school and no adults in my school ever helped me to stop the bullying or even acknowledged it was happening. I want to prevent other kids from going through what I went through.
  • I think I’ve had too much caffeine today and my eye is twitching. Eek.
  • It feels weird writing a post without mentioning headaches…BUT (crosses fingers) I have been headache-free since Tuesday morning. It’s pretty remarkable, especially considering all the stormy and rainy weather we’ve been having.
  • I no longer have to do this thing I’ve been dreading for months this weekend. Yes, I feel badly about backing out of it- it was shitty of me. However, the relief I feel over not having to do it is pretty amazing- although I do recognize I should never have committed to it in the first place. And the reason I gave for not doing it- chronic migraine- is certainly true and legitimate.
  • With that being said, I’m looking forward to spending time with my family this weekend, getting work done, and resting.

I’d rather have a cold than a migraine

I definitely think I’m coming down with something– if not, I guess I’m still sleep deprived. After The Walking Dead premiere on Sunday, I could not fall asleep. That probably had something to do with all of the “research” I conducted on the most terrifying haunted houses in the U.S. I have absolutely no interest (anymore) in going to haunted houses, but something about them fascinates me. Anyway, I scared myself so badly I was awake until four in the morning freaking out about even the tiniest noise I couldn’t place. I got a decent amount of sleep last night, but I still feel tired and run down. My throat is kind of sore and my entire body is just…tired.

However, I have been HEADACHE FREE since yesterday morning, which is pretty amazing. I can only hope it continues. I had physical therapy for the second time today, and got to use a foam roller on my back/shoulders/neck. It made a significant difference in the tension and pain I tend to carry in those areas in just 15 minutes. I think I will definitely invest in a longer foam roller (I have a mini one right now) so I can use one every day at home.

I can’t believe the semester is about halfway over. It’s gone by quickly, I suppose, even though sometimes the days seem to drag on and on (like today). One more class, a field trip, and then home- and maybe to an orchestra concert tonight with Doug if I’m feeling up to it. I’m going to try and get some more work done now so I can head to bed early again tonight- hopefully before 10pm.

Life update

It kind of sucks when you post so infrequently that every post turns into a life update of sorts. Anyway, I am attempting to create some kind of regular posting schedule for myself that will fit into my school/work schedule. Right now I think I will be posting on Fridays and Sundays, starting next week. Obviously, I’d like to post more frequently if possible, but I don’t want to overcommit. Those are the days I anticipate having the most free time.

I start my last semester of my undergraduate career next Tuesday! I don’t think I’ve fully wrapped my head around that yet. I’m excited, but it would be a bit more exciting/scary if I was going right into the “real world” after graduating. I’m headed straight into grad school, though- which will likely be different in some ways, I imagine- and so I’ll still be in the cocoon of academia! For another 1.5 years.

School has already started in the city I work in, and the first day of our after-school program was yesterday. It honestly couldn’t have gone better! We have a few new kids- they’re all great, and fit right into our existing group. The afternoons feel so short compared to the long, hot days of working in the summer program. All in all, despite how much I complained about my job this summer, I definitely got a lot out of it. Mostly, I feel a lot more competent in dealing with challenging behaviors and defiance.

Not too much else is new since the last time I updated. Doug and I have been running a lot together, which is so much fun. We really push each other and challenge each other. He’s the only person I’ve ever enjoyed running with! We’re planning on running a 5K with some family & friends in November. I think it will be a lot easier for me to fall into a regular exercise routine once school starts. My earliest class this semester is at 9:10am! 

Life feels really balanced and healthy lately. Time with friends, time with family, time with Doug, time alone. I think the work/school balance will be perfect this semester, too, and I should have a bit more free time since I completed my internship last semester. I know two of my classes will be quite demanding, but I’m confident I can handle it! 

Well that’s about it for now, but you should be seeing more of me on this blog in the coming weeks! I hope you’re all having a great week so far, and happy Wednesday!